Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

I was tired of trying and failing.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Why do I get spun and then want big fat cocks to suck?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Massive Russian drone attack slams Kyiv and hits maternity hospital in Odesa, Ukrainian officials say - CNN

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

What happens when you need emergency surgery in countries with universal healthcare vs the US?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

You are like me, then.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Did you ever accidentally have sex with your brother/sister in India?

The sadness was still there.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Exclusive | Doctors dismissed my troubling symptom but I pushed — how I knew it was cancer - New York Post

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Are LGBT people accepted in Japan?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Be who you already are.

And the sadness?

Nuclear rocket engine for Moon and Mars - European Space Agency

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of fighting.

It’s still here.

You hold the door open for a lady and she stops in her tracks and screams at you, ‘Don’t hold the door for me! I’ll get it myself!’ What are your feelings or immediate reaction?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

I had run out of hope.

Why do heterosexual men like anal sex with women? I think it's because they secretly want to have anal sex with a man? What do you think?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.